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Who's Who In the Zoo
by Sam Chen
 

Lucky's the beast called the kudu,
 Which has very little tudu
           But sleep, eat and drink,
  And that's why, I think,
 It has much less stress than yudu.
 

 If you've never been to a zoo,
 You may doubt what I say here is true:
  In season of rut
  The inmates are not
 Concerned by a voyeur or two.
 

 Queer is the beast called the aardvark
 (Whose burrow is truly quite dark).
  It has the distinction
  Of cheating extinction
 By being the first in the Ark.
 

 The camel, with two humps or one,
 Is built to withstand sand and sun.
  I don't know about you,
  But, re humps, I like two.
 To fall off is really no fun.
 

 A fortunate fish is the cod,
 Who owes it mostly to God
  And a little good luck
  That it isn't stuck
 All its life with a name like the scrod.
 

 A strange-sounding name has the gnu,
 Which has rather little to do
  Except give us fits,
  For were all names like its,
 Just look how we'd have to spell gSue.
 

 The zoo keeper makes a lotta fuss
 Over the zoo's hippopotamus.
  For if it gets sick
  Its hide is so thick
 The phlebotomist is bound ta cuss.
 

 A hunter a lioness spied,
 And decided to go for a ride.
  The lion awoke
  And ate the poor bloke,
 Thinking he'd injured his pride.
 

 A tamer of lions, from Maine,
 From opening their mouths couldn't refrain.
  One day he got bold
  And now, I am told,
 He's as headless as Ichabod Crane.
 

 Odd-looking beasts are the manatee,
 Who're not afflicted with vanitee.
  They don't care how they look
  When their picture is took
 (Which for ladies amounts to insanitee).
 

 A curious beast is the rhino,
 Whose horn is prized by the Sino.
  I asked one, with a smirk,
  "Does this stuff really work?"
 He limply replied, "Oh my, no."
 

 An overweight vulture named Marion
 When others had eaten, would tarry on.
  She was slow to embark,
  Which caused the remark:
 "Your excess baggage must be carrion."
 

 The wart hog is terribly warty.
 It has a million and forty.
  You would think it might seem
  A dermatologist's dream
 To catch one while out on a sortie.
 

 It may be that there is no man
 Who's seen the abominable snowman
  (Who's known also as yeti);
  Yet I think if we met, he
 Might run as fast as he could go, man.
 

 Many females wear a B-bra;
 Others are proud of their C-bra.
  But were there a prize
  For purely grade size,
 It'd have to go to the Zebra.