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Miscellany (some zany)
by Sam Chen
 

An unfortunate parson named Birch
 Had a penchant for farting in church.
  This led not a few
  Who sat in his pew
 To go elsewhere in spiritual search.
 

 I once knew a bubbly lasse
 Who possessed inordinate gasse.
  Though she thought she'd suppressed it,
  It passed out (you guessed it) -
 Just like the guests did - en masse.
 

 An expert safecracker with brawn
 Was caught at his work before dawn.
  Though he paid for his deeds
  His epitaph reads,
 "Here lies a pro and a con."
 

 There once was a fellow named Jim,
 Who possessed a phenomenal limb.
  So great was its length
  (As well as its strength)
 It was said Guinness contacted him.
 

 A young physics major cried, "Hark!
 Me thinks I've discovered a quark!
  If I can now carry on
  And find me a baryon,
 In this field I'll have made my mark."
 

 While Tweety's well known for his chirp,
 And Pluto's trademark is his slurp,
  For human fame
  One needs a name
 Like Wyatt, famous for his bEarp.
 

 When NATO was formed, it appears
 Not a few Eskimos were in tears.
  Said they, "What?  Not include us?
  How could you exclude us?
 We've had IC BM's for years."