Something For Everybody
by Sam Chen
The appendix resembles a worm,
Though it doesn't burrow
or squirm.
It's largely ignored
Till a surgeon is bored
Or his bills have made
HIM infirm.
Breasts were a lovely invention.
They're best when the
skin's under tension.
On occasion it's not;
Those cases are what
Keep surgeons from going
on pension.
There once was a lovely
young nurse,
Who had a fondness for
verse.
But her rhythm and rhyme
Consumed so much time
Patients thought she could
hardly be worse.
A sensitive man used to
sing,
"I'm allergic to 'most
everything.
When my skin isn't itching,
My nostrils are twitching.
I can't wait for new pollens
this spring."
A man who lived south of
the border
Had a wife but could not
afford her.
He worried so much
About Jaguars and such,
He developed a sleeping
disorder.
Claimed a nurse, as she
pulled up his shirt,
"This won't hurt," in
a manner quite curt.
Said the patient, with
rue,
"Don't know what I'd
do
If she said that it really
would hurt."
A man who was always quite
mean
Nearly died in a wreck
as a teen.
They left in his side
A hole that'll provide
A place he can vent his
spleen.
A doctor of orthopedium
Thought life with wife
one of tedium.
They decided to part
When he discovered art
To be a new happy medium.
A doctor of X-rays, named
Park,
Begat more offspring than
a shark.
When asked as to why,
He was heard to reply,
"I do my best work in
the dark."
A lean, young peripatetic
Thinks slimness may be
genetic.
Both father and son
Find sleepwalking fun,
Despite a pace that's
frenetic.
There was an old Hebrew
named Ham
Who complained, "I am
old, I am.
My many joints creak
And my plumbing doth
leak
Or else it's stopped up
like a dam."
One thing I think deserves
mention:
Right now there's no real
dissension.
It seems too much salt
May be at fault
As one cause of hypertension.