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Lotsa 'osophy
by Sam Chen
 

A remorseful young man named Pat
 Tried hard to find where life was at.
  Wine, women and song
  Put his thinking all wrong.
 Too much of those things can do that.
 

 A senile old linguist named Flynn
 Said,  "At life it's so hard to win.
  The words I once used
  Now get me confused;
 I forget which language they're in."
 

 A housewife didn't think it a treat
 When her husband peed on the seat.
  The next night he did,
  She'd put down the lid.
 Who says that revenge isn't sweet?
 

 As far as wild oats are concerned,
 There's a lesson that needs to be learned:
  We reap what we sow.
  That much I know -
 I, who have been badly burned.
 

 A man who loathed to be last
 Would always drive very fast.
  He also tailgated,
  Which was ill-fated:
 He's now in a full-body cast.
 

 The battle of sexes is raging,
 And, like wine and cheese, has been aging.
  But, unlike those two,
  It's simply not true
 That the war improves with its (w)aging.
 

 What it's often like on committee
 Is to spend lots of time on your sittee.
  What may be inept
  In minutes are kept,
 While hours are wasted  - more's the pittee.
 

 The stock market, as we all know,
 Can deal one a mighty hard blow.
  I think I'd do better
  If I could unfetter
 My penchant for "Buy high, sell low."
 

 The Good Book says not to deceive.
 What I state here is true, I believe.
  Upon some reflection,
  When it comes to injection,
 It's more blessed to give than receive.
 

 A strange thing it is about hair
 (I speak here of men, to be fair).
  They comb, brush and fuss
  And oftentimes cuss
 Over something that soon won't be there.
 

 Concerning life's woes and its weals:
 The women who know how it feels
  To be used, and then left
  Forlorn and bereft
 Should remember that time wounds all heels.